The Anxiety I Got from the Congenital Anomaly Scan

My OB-Gyn suggested that I should undergo Congenital Anomaly Scan. The name of the procedure itself made me feel very anxious the moment she told us that.

To fully understand, I shall explain briefly what really is it.

CAS is a procedure which takes a closer look at the baby inside the pregnant's womb. The sonographer (the one who performs it) will check whether the baby is developing normally. She will look at where the placenta is lying inside the pregnant's uterus. She will also count the fingers and measure the size of the baby's bones. It is usually done between 18 to 20 weeks (and above) of pregnancy.

I was supposed to have it on August 10, but I insisted to have it on August 3 because I was feeling soooo anxious about it for a month already. Plus the fact that I also wanted to know this early if it will be "little noel or little tina" :)

So the moment of truth came. We went to the hospital early but we still got the 9th slot. It was a bit expensive but that's okay, it's for our baby (that's our motivation! :p)

I was praying while the sonographer was doing the procedure. I was also looking at the monitor even though I don't understand what she was looking at. hehehe! When she's done measuring all my baby's body parts, I immediately ask for the gender. hahaha! and she said... It's a Girl! I am so happy she would be a Scholastican ^_^

Then she told me there is something she sees in the heart. But my OB-Gyn will be the one to explain what is it. OMG! That statement took my smile away. I felt so anxious again. Then the sonographer got an anxious look on her face. I did not understand why. Then she told me, my baby was hiding her face. She was covering it with her hands. So she told me to go out, walk and drink then come back after she's done with two other patients.

So I approached my hubby who was waiting outside. I told him what the sonographer told me and we calmed ourselves up. Whatever happens, we both know we did our best, so there is no one to blame. My hubby also called my sister who is a nurse (she is also performing 2D echo to adult patients) to ask for advice.

Then when we went back to the room, the sonographer allowed my husband to accompany me during the remaining procedure. She lets us see the face of the baby and it was sooo cute!

Maybe because she noticed we were really worried, she briefly explained what she saw in my baby's heart. She said there was an echogenic structure seen in the left ventricle of my little princess' heart. Then she said there are studies saying that those echogenic structure seen during scans are insignificant. Maybe the little white spot there was calcium deposit or just muscles that is yet to develop. (Thank God!)

But at the end, she suggested to do fetal 2D Echo to make sure everything is really okay.

At 2pm, we went to our OB-Gyn and raised the issue seen in the scan. My doctor said she had patients who happen to have the same experience as ours, but the babies turned very healthy. So meaning, nothing significant. Thank God. There is really nothing to worry about.

The following day, we showed the result to my sister and she said everything is going to be fine... and we are claiming, everything and everyone is in good condition. There is no impossible with God! :)

Feeling Frustrated

I feel sad.. really sad :(

Last May, I did not get a chance to use my remaining sick leave (more or less 3days) and vacation leave (6 and a half days) because of the workloads in the office. On May 6, I filed for a sick leave because of my pre-natal check-up. But my hubby was not available to accompany me so he moved the appointment on Tuesday. I reported to work that Monday. I asked my co-counselor (who is on-leave) to come to school so I can be absent on Tuesday (May 7). But since I know we have a lot of things to do in the office, I went to school to help her from 8:00am to 10:00am. I did not record my time-in/time-out that day, for I believe, I was on sick leave.

On May 17, now I remember, I decided to use my vacation leave for one day so I filed it (this is what I remember). But my husband does not want to be absent from work. So I realized, I should come to school instead, because I have nothing to do at home. Since I filed a vacation leave, I went to work and did not record my time in/out again. 

But on June 2013, when we signed the attendance log, I was reported absent on May 7 and 17. In my pay slip, I was deducted for two days. That was equivalent to P1+++! Now I could not get the money they deducted from me because my two application forms for sick and vacation leave were missing. I feel really sad about it. I am fully aware that I also have a mistake. I feel sad because my intention was purely good and this is what I get. I am very much "attendance conscious". As much as possible, I do not want to be late nor be absent in work/school. I even come to school during holidays and I am more than willing to spend extra hours (without pay) just to finish what I have to do.

I just feel emotional right now... and I really wanted to release all my negative thoughts and feelings.

I remember... It was in school year 2011-2012 when I was assigned to become the Art Club Moderator. Being the head of the Art Club, it is my responsibility to make backdrops for the school's events and programs. One of these is the Culminating Activity for the Buwan ng Wika. Since it was a holiday the day before the culminating activity and because we were not able to finish doing the backdrop, i went to school with my cousin and tried to finish it. Luckily, we were able to finish 90% of it so the event went well.

Another thing, I was usually half day on Saturdays. But on January 29, 2011 I was scheduled to administer the entrance test for year 1. The test started at 8am and ended at around 3pm. We wanted to have a lot of enrollees so I volunteered to extend until almost 5pm just to finish the test and to release the exam result. The same thing during Cavite Day. It's always declared as holiday but when needed, i report to school, especially for entrance test administration.

I am being emotional because my time-in/time-out that the school guards recorded is not enough for me to get back the money they deducted. I was indeed present and I reported to work on May 7 (8am to 10am) and May 17 (7:46am to 4:11pm).

I feel sad because I was not able to maximize the vacation that i deserve. I have been in SSCW since 2010. I was not entitled yet for a summer vacation for sy2010-2011, I filed a two day vacation leave for sy2011-2012 (13 vacation leave were not used), and for sy2012-2013, I used 8.5days for our wedding and was not able to use 6.5days of it.

Now what? :( I blame myself for being irresponsible :( I feel sad and frustrated because I believe i do not deserve the deductions i got. Am I being irrational already? :( 

Ang mga Taong "Relihiyoso"

Nasasaad sa Bibliya, ang paglilingkod sa kapwa ay paglilingkod sa Dios, pagibig sa Dios, pagmamahal, tungkulin at pagsunod sa kautusan at sa kalooban ng Dios - Mateo 25:31-40 

Simba ng Simba ngunit hindi marunong isabuhay ng mga Salita ng Diyos.

Ganito na ba ang trend ngayon?

Kung sino pa ang palagi mong nakikita sa simbahan, nagsisimba, o nagbibigay ng kanilang "serbisyo" sa Panginoon ay siya pang mga taong kakikitaan mo ng hindi mabubuting asal.

Nasaan ang sinasabi ninyong serbisyo kung ang Salita ng Diyos ay hindi nakikita sa mga gawa ninyo?

Nakakalungkot..